"But I made it out with a enormous bear and a ginormous deer."
And a pretty good story too. I'm a little puzzled about why you would have a machete on your belt. You could have just said you stabbed him with the knife you were gutting the deer with. But then again, the story would have probably been written by the coroner.
Alcohol,Tobacco, and Firearms. Should not be a government bureau. Should be a department store.