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#5509461 - 12/30/14 07:08 PM You started it
Michael W. Offline
Veteran Tracker

Registered: 11/22/10
Posts: 2588
Loc: Central Texas / Comal County
A young man with his pants hanging half off his rear, two gold front teeth, and a half inch thick gold chain around his neck, walked into the local welfare office to pick up his check.

He marched up to the counter and said, "Hi. You know, I just HATE drawing welfare. I'd really rather have a job. I don't like taking advantage of the system, getting something for nothing."

The social worker behind the counter said "Your timing is excellent. We just got a job opening from a very wealthy old man who wants a chauffeur and bodyguard for his beautiful daughter. You'll have to drive around in his 2014 Mercedes-Benz CL, and he will supply all of your clothes."

"Because of the long hours, meals will be provided. You'll also be expected to escort the daughter on her overseas holiday trips. This is rather awkward to say, but you will also have, as part of your job, the assignment to satisfy her sexual urges as the daughter is in her mid-20's and has a rather strong sex drive."

The guy, just plain wide-eyed, said, "You're bull-shi- -in' me!"

The social worker said, "Yeah, well . . . You started it . . . . “

A clear conscience is often the sign of a fuzzy memory.

#5509905 - 12/30/14 11:15 PM Re: You started it [Re: Michael W.]
redfred Online   content

Registered: 04/18/09
Posts: 1338
Loc: La Porte
The first liar never has a chance!
Alcohol,Tobacco, and Firearms. Should not be a government bureau. Should be a department store.

#5509915 - 12/30/14 11:27 PM Re: You started it [Re: Michael W.]
RedHoss Offline
Veteran Tracker

Registered: 09/27/10
Posts: 2788
Loc: Houston, Texas
Careful what you ask for...LOL

#5510252 - 12/31/14 09:08 AM Re: You started it [Re: Michael W.]
PMK Offline
Extreme Tracker

Registered: 09/10/12
Posts: 4816
Loc: Central TX (Gtown/Austin)
LOL!!! greatness!!!
"everyone that lives dies but not everyone who dies lived..."


#5513218 - 01/01/15 02:25 PM Re: You started it [Re: Michael W.]
TonyinVA Online   content
Pro Tracker

Registered: 03/24/14
Posts: 1821
Loc: Virginia, USA
that was funny!

#5513977 - 01/01/15 07:13 PM Re: You started it [Re: Michael W.]
Simple Searcher Offline
Extreme Tracker

Registered: 12/30/12
Posts: 4023
Loc: Helotes, Hext
They left out his Iphone, LoneStar card and the Escalade that he drove up in. stir

"Man is still a hunter, still a simple searcher after meat..." Robert C. Ruark

#5514726 - 01/02/15 02:43 AM Re: You started it [Re: Michael W.]
Seadog Offline
THF Celebrity

Registered: 09/26/07
Posts: 13451
Loc: East Texas
I support Cap and Trade - Cap our spending and Trade Obama

I predict future happiness for Americans if they can prevent the Government from wasting the labors of the people under the pretense of taking care of them. - Thomas Jefferson

#5514927 - 01/02/15 08:43 AM Re: You started it [Re: Michael W.]
Deadend Offline
Pro Tracker

Registered: 09/07/09
Posts: 1937
Loc: Mineola,TX

#5514995 - 01/02/15 09:16 AM Re: You started it [Re: Michael W.]
stxranchman Online   content
Obie Juan Kenobi

Registered: 08/04/10
Posts: 51864

#5531949 - 01/10/15 12:38 AM Re: You started it [Re: Michael W.]
WTGuide Offline
Extreme Tracker

Registered: 07/04/08
Posts: 3837
Loc: Hondo, TX
Think you can/Think you can't/Either way you're right

#5546594 - 01/16/15 09:33 AM Re: You started it [Re: Michael W.]
jdk1985 Online   content
THF Celebrity

Registered: 08/15/11
Posts: 11669
Loc: Waco, TX

#5546729 - 01/16/15 10:27 AM Re: You started it [Re: Michael W.]
Boomer57 Offline

Registered: 10/05/09
Posts: 655
Loc: Rockwall Tx
Around here that is so true
My wife must be a cross between a Indian and a bulldog. When she's not on the warpath, she's sitting on her butt growling.

We're burnin daylite.

#5546756 - 01/16/15 10:38 AM Re: You started it [Re: Michael W.]
DuckCoach1985 Offline
Pro Tracker

Registered: 10/09/13
Posts: 1402
Cut 'Em!!!


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