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#5180677 - 06/30/14 01:15 PM The Church Dinner
macec3(TX) Online   content

Registered: 09/01/12
Posts: 625
Loc: Laneville, TX.

The Church Dinner

A group of friends from the Church wanted to get together on a regular basis, socialize, and play games. The lady of the house was to prepare the meal.
When it came time for Al and Jean to be the hosts, Jean wanted to outdo all the others. She decided to have mushroom-smothered steak. But mushrooms are expensive. She then told her husband, "No mushrooms.They are too high."

He said, "Why don't you go down in the pasture and pick some of those mushrooms? There are plenty in the creek bed."

She said, "No, some wild mushrooms are poison."

He said, "Well, I see varmints eating them and they're OK." So Jean decided to give it a try. She picked a bunch, washed, sliced, and diced them for her smothered steak.

Then she went out on the back porch and gave Spot (the yard dog) a double handful. Spot ate every bite. All morning long, Jean watched Spot and the wild mushrooms didn't seem to affect him, so she decided to use them.

The meal was a great success, and Jean even hired a helper lady from town to help her serve. After everyone had finished, they relaxed, socialized, and played '42' and dominoes. About then, the helper lady came in and whispered in Jean's ear.
She said, "Mrs. Williams, Spot is dead."

Jean went into hysterics. After she finally calmed down, she called the doctor and told him what had happened.

The doctor said, "That's bad, but I think we can take care of it. I will call for an ambulance and I will be there as quickly as possible. We'll give everyone enemas and we will pump out everyone's stomach. Everything will be fine. Just keep them calm."
Soon they could hear the siren as the ambulance was coming down the road. The EMTs and the doctor had their suitcases, syringes, and a stomach pump.

One by one, they took each person into the bathroom, gave them an enema, and pumped out their stomach. The scene was not pretty. After the last one was finished, the doctor came out and said, "I think everything will be fine now," and he left. They were all looking pretty weak sitting around the living room and about this time the helper lady came in and whispered to Jean, "You know, that fellow that run over Spot never even stopped."

I only have two things to add:

RIP Spot

They all went home hungry.

#5180753 - 06/30/14 02:14 PM Re: The Church Dinner [Re: macec3(TX)]
PMK Offline
Extreme Tracker

Registered: 09/10/12
Posts: 4783
Loc: Central TX (Gtown/Austin)
HA! I saw it coming ...
"everyone that lives dies but not everyone who dies lived..."


#5180766 - 06/30/14 02:20 PM Re: The Church Dinner [Re: macec3(TX)]
HuntingTexas Online   content
THF Celebrity

Registered: 01/06/08
Posts: 16569
Loc: Duncanville, Tx.
" In God We Trust "

#5180846 - 06/30/14 03:38 PM Re: The Church Dinner [Re: macec3(TX)]
Gone to Texas Online   content
Veteran Tracker

Registered: 07/05/13
Posts: 2138
Loc: Hurst

#5180858 - 06/30/14 03:51 PM Re: The Church Dinner [Re: macec3(TX)]
Wilhunt Offline
Veteran Tracker

Registered: 07/26/13
Posts: 2201
Loc: New Braunfels, San Saba county
A great story..the wife is still laughing! banana

#5181094 - 06/30/14 06:37 PM Re: The Church Dinner [Re: macec3(TX)]
Simple Searcher Offline
Extreme Tracker

Registered: 12/30/12
Posts: 4012
Loc: Helotes, Hext
I cannot help but think, "how do I get everyone to come over to the house and get enemas?"

"Man is still a hunter, still a simple searcher after meat..." Robert C. Ruark

#5182830 - 07/01/14 06:50 PM Re: The Church Dinner [Re: PMK]
texasag93 Offline

Registered: 04/12/09
Posts: 3998
Loc: Argyle
Originally Posted By: PMK
HA! I saw it coming ...

It was still good.

Edited by texasag93 (07/01/14 06:50 PM)

#5182950 - 07/01/14 08:11 PM Re: The Church Dinner [Re: macec3(TX)]
Gary Olson Offline
Bird Dog

Registered: 01/24/13
Posts: 255
Loc: Plano, TX
This is how people go from being friends to enemas.

#5183081 - 07/01/14 09:15 PM Re: The Church Dinner [Re: macec3(TX)]
RedHoss Offline
Veteran Tracker

Registered: 09/27/10
Posts: 2785
Loc: Houston, Texas
That is an old "Jerry Clower" story from way back but it is still funny.

#5184400 - 07/02/14 05:20 PM Re: The Church Dinner [Re: macec3(TX)]
Hunt2Fish Offline
Pro Tracker

Registered: 11/25/12
Posts: 1084
Loc: South Texas

#5296574 - 09/09/14 11:07 AM Re: The Church Dinner [Re: Gary Olson]
twospeed29 Offline
Light Foot

Registered: 02/12/08
Posts: 41
Originally Posted By: Gary Olson
This is how people go from being friends to enemas.

clap cheers
I got two speeds. Goin fast,and haulin [censored]

#5301872 - 09/11/14 08:46 PM Re: The Church Dinner [Re: macec3(TX)]
Deadend Offline
Pro Tracker

Registered: 09/07/09
Posts: 1936
Loc: Mineola,TX
clap happy3

#5327163 - 09/25/14 11:31 PM Re: The Church Dinner [Re: macec3(TX)]
blackcoal Online   content
THF Trophy Hunter

Registered: 01/19/12
Posts: 7517
Loc: 60 Mi North of DFW
The Greatest Enemy of knowledge is not ignorance,
it is the illusion of knowledge.--Stephen Hawking

#5411853 - 11/10/14 07:25 PM Re: The Church Dinner [Re: macec3(TX)]
aggielandman Offline

Registered: 01/05/10
Posts: 206
Ha Ha!


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