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#2943477 - 01/19/12 09:15 AM Some old country sayings.......
reeltexan Online   content
Veteran Tracker

Registered: 01/30/07
Posts: 2661
Loc: Ovilla - TEXAS
I don't play—I quit school ’cause of recess.

I was so nervous I didn't know whether to scratch my watch or wind my butt.

She was battin' her eyes like a toad in a hailstorm.

You walk slower then turtles in molasses screwing.

His pants were so tight if he'd a farted it'd blow his boots off.

Well, I'd smack the fire out of 'em if they acted that way around me.

That's worthless as chicken crap on the pump handle.

It's hotter than a billygoat with a blowtorch.

Heavier than a dead preacher.

Ain't gotta pot to piss in let alone a window to throw it out.

I'm up to my [censored] in alligators.

He didn't know who's weeds he was pissing in.

Funnier than a retard eatin hotwings.

That's so hard to do it'd be like trying to put butter up a wildcat's [censored] with a hot poker!

She has two speeds. Slow and stop.

That boy is so ugly he couldn't get laid in a whore house with a fist full of hundreds.

That girl is like a doornob...everyone gets a turn.

Ashes to ashes and dust to dust if it wasn't for women our peckers would rust.

He looks greener than gourd guts.

I'd fight tigers in the dark with a switch for her.

I'd rather stare directly at the sun with binoculars than ...

He's the biggest liar who ever crapped behind shoeleather.

He'd bitch if you hung him with a new rope.

He's as nellie as pink ink.

That smells like the outhouse door of a shrimp boat.

It's cold enough to freeze the balls off a pool table.



_________________________


"Count that day lost whose low, descending sun
Is not, in part, obscured by powder from my gun"
B. Spiller

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#2944229 - 01/19/12 01:52 PM Re: Some old country sayings....... [Re: reeltexan]
BYPATHofNIGHT Offline
Pro Tracker

Registered: 07/02/08
Posts: 1911
Loc: Texas South Plains
That would gag the buzzards off a gut wagon...
Nervous as a cat in a room full of rocking chairs...
Older than dirt...

_________________________

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#2944610 - 01/19/12 05:03 PM Re: Some old country sayings....... [Re: BYPATHofNIGHT]
nuprofessor Offline
Extreme Tracker

Registered: 07/13/05
Posts: 3785
Loc: HOME!!!! (Columbia, MO)
Heard this one on LIZARD LICK TOWING:
That boy is nuttier than a port-a-potty at a peanut festival.

_________________________
CHILDREN ARE OUR FUTURE FOR TOMORROW. INVEST IN TOMORROW BY TAKING A CHILD HUNTING OR FISHING TODAY.

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#2944670 - 01/19/12 05:29 PM Re: Some old country sayings....... [Re: nuprofessor]
dawaba Offline
Extreme Tracker

Registered: 10/22/06
Posts: 4200
Loc: Big Eddy Road, Noonday
It smelled as bad as Osama's cave.

_________________________
"For every complex problem there is an answer that is clear, simple.....and wrong." H. L. Mencken

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#2945545 - 01/19/12 10:14 PM Re: Some old country sayings....... [Re: dawaba]
CaveManRancher Offline
Tracker

Registered: 11/21/11
Posts: 737
Loc: Sonora, Texas
Hit him so hard made him piss like a puppy


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#2945612 - 01/19/12 10:38 PM Re: Some old country sayings....... [Re: CaveManRancher]
reeltexan Online   content
Veteran Tracker

Registered: 01/30/07
Posts: 2661
Loc: Ovilla - TEXAS
this just in:
"he's nuttier than a squirrel turd"

_________________________


"Count that day lost whose low, descending sun
Is not, in part, obscured by powder from my gun"
B. Spiller

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#2945890 - 01/20/12 07:26 AM Re: Some old country sayings....... [Re: reeltexan]
ss401 Offline
Tracker

Registered: 11/13/11
Posts: 561
"Fruitier than a fruitcake."

"Bless his heart, he was hit with an ugly stick."

"I couldn't trust em as far as I could throw em."

"When I say git you better git or I'll knock the tar outta ya!"

"What happen? You got up on the wrong side of bed?"


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#2945898 - 01/20/12 07:33 AM Re: Some old country sayings....... [Re: ss401]
KG68 Offline
THF Trophy Hunter

Registered: 10/14/09
Posts: 6314
Loc: Goldthwaite,Tx
Two of my old favorite's

It's colder than a welldiggers arse

That stuff would gag a maggot


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#2946026 - 01/20/12 08:20 AM Re: Some old country sayings....... [Re: KG68]
toolman Offline


Registered: 02/22/09
Posts: 3674
Loc: Abilene, Tx.
Shaking like a dog trying to sh** a peach seed.
Shining like a diamond in a goats [censored].
Like trying to put a tube sock on a rooster.
Nervous as a whore in church.

_________________________
You don't get to be old by being stupid, but I made it to middle age!

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#2946028 - 01/20/12 08:21 AM Re: Some old country sayings....... [Re: KG68]
sig226fan (Rguns.com) Online   happy
duck & cover

Registered: 11/21/05
Posts: 31411
Loc: Hickory Creek, Fannin Co. Texa...
Don't know come here from sic'em

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Richardson's Gun Shop
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Wolfe City, TX 75496
903-496-7747
Email vernon at rguns dot com

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#2946201 - 01/20/12 09:25 AM Re: Some old country sayings....... [Re: sig226fan (Rguns.com)]
Dave007 Offline
Light Foot

Registered: 11/11/10
Posts: 32
Keep em comin -- some of these are
'finer than frogs hair'
though some are
'about as funny as a submarine with screen doors'


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#2946255 - 01/20/12 09:44 AM Re: Some old country sayings....... [Re: Dave007]
TxDispatcher Offline
Veteran Tracker

Registered: 11/11/11
Posts: 2427
Loc: Bellville, Tx
My dads 2 favorite sayings

He ain't got enough sense to pour pizz out of a boot if the instructions are written on the bottom

Don't let your alligator mouth overload your spring frog behind

_________________________
Originally Posted By: East...
Originally Posted By: East...
I will get off in a little bit

You shouldnt have said that

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#2946321 - 01/20/12 10:11 AM Re: Some old country sayings....... [Re: TxDispatcher]
RICK O'SHAY Offline
THF Trophy Hunter

Registered: 05/27/06
Posts: 6262
Loc: DALLAS TEXAS
I'm happier than a puppy with two peckers.

"I outa go over there".... )reply) Yeah, otters outta hump beavers, but they don't.

Git outta the way and let me do it... you're just like a cub bear playin with his - - - - .

You look like you've been tryin to wash a bob cat with a wire brush, in a 5 gal bucket of gasoline.

_________________________


DISCLAIMER
ATTENTION: Your decision should NEVER be based SOLELY upon my advice, recomendation, or opinion.

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#2946617 - 01/20/12 12:01 PM Re: Some old country sayings....... [Re: RICK O'SHAY]
redchevy Offline
THF Celebrity

Registered: 10/25/04
Posts: 26255
Loc: Texas
For something thats hard-

Like running a wet noodle up a widcats azz

_________________________
It's hell eatin em live

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#2946662 - 01/20/12 12:17 PM Re: Some old country sayings....... [Re: redchevy]
ssgp2 Offline
Pro Tracker

Registered: 05/25/07
Posts: 1522
Loc: Weatherford, Texas
he's as useless as mudflaps on a turtle.

_________________________
Friend, I wouldn't harm thee for all the world, but thou art standing where I am about to shoot.

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