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Feb 12th, 2024
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 Heard this one today...
#6919469
10/13/17 08:27 PM
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Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 35,466
Guy
OP
THF Celebrity
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OP
THF Celebrity
Joined: Dec 2005
Posts: 35,466 |
A husband went to the sheriff’s department to report that his wife was missing.
Husband: My wife is missing. She went shopping yesterday and has not come home.
Sergeant: What is her height?
Husband: Gee, I’m not sure. A little over five-feet tall.
Sergeant: Weight?
Husband: Don’t know. Not slim, not really fat.
Sergeant: Color of eyes?
Husband: Never noticed.
Sergeant: Color of hair?
Husband: Changes a couple times a year. Maybe dark brown.
Sergeant: What was she wearing?
Husband: Could have been a skirt or shorts. I don’t remember exactly.
Sergeant: What kind of car did she go in?
Husband: She went in my truck.
Sergeant: What kind of truck was it?
Husband: Brand new 2015 Ford F150 King Ranch 4X4 with eco-boost 5.0L V8 engine special ordered with manual transmission. It has a custom matching white cover for the bed. Custom leather seats and “Bubba” floor mats. Trailering package with gold hitch. DVD with navigation, 21-channel CB radio, six cup holders, and four power outlets. Added special alloy wheels and off-road Michelins. Wife put a small scratch on the drivers door. At this point the husband started choking up.
Sergeant: Don’t worry buddy. We’ll find your truck.
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Re: Heard this one today...
[Re: Guy]
#6919707
10/14/17 12:07 AM
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Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 65,506
SnakeWrangler
THF Celebrity
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THF Celebrity
Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 65,506 |
I believe in science and I’m an insufferable [censored] Actually, BBC is pretty damn good "You Cannot Simultaneously Be Politically Correct And Intellectually Honest!"
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Re: Heard this one today...
[Re: Guy]
#6919714
10/14/17 12:14 AM
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Joined: Jan 2008
Posts: 18,766
HuntingTexas
THF Celebrity
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THF Celebrity
Joined: Jan 2008
Posts: 18,766 |
Sad but true 
" In God We Trust "
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Re: Heard this one today...
[Re: Guy]
#6919773
10/14/17 01:16 AM
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Joined: Dec 2012
Posts: 4,800
TexasKC
Extreme Tracker
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Extreme Tracker
Joined: Dec 2012
Posts: 4,800 |
A+ 
In the end, it's not the years in your life that count, it's the life in your years.
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Re: Heard this one today...
[Re: Guy]
#6920003
10/14/17 10:41 AM
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Joined: Aug 2011
Posts: 2,708
pigplinker
Veteran Tracker
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Veteran Tracker
Joined: Aug 2011
Posts: 2,708 |
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Re: Heard this one today...
[Re: Guy]
#6920019
10/14/17 11:43 AM
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Joined: Dec 2012
Posts: 11,902
Simple Searcher
THF Celebrity
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THF Celebrity
Joined: Dec 2012
Posts: 11,902 |
![[Linked Image]](https://live.staticflickr.com/4340/36432483774_50a6be0c41_m.jpg) "Man is still a hunter, still a simple searcher after meat..." Robert C. Ruark
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Re: Heard this one today...
[Re: Guy]
#6925510
10/19/17 11:03 AM
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Joined: May 2010
Posts: 1,328
Stray Cat
Pro Tracker
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Pro Tracker
Joined: May 2010
Posts: 1,328 |
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Re: Heard this one today...
[Re: Guy]
#6925552
10/19/17 12:11 PM
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Joined: Dec 2011
Posts: 2,400
Bass&More
Veteran Tracker
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Veteran Tracker
Joined: Dec 2011
Posts: 2,400 |
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Re: Heard this one today...
[Re: Guy]
#6926280
10/19/17 10:20 PM
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Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 1,729
NMGW
Pro Tracker
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Pro Tracker
Joined: Jan 2012
Posts: 1,729 |
New Mexico: Not Really New, Not Really Mexico
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Re: Heard this one today...
[Re: Guy]
#6927504
10/21/17 01:16 AM
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Joined: Oct 2017
Posts: 387
Trophytaker3
Bird Dog
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Bird Dog
Joined: Oct 2017
Posts: 387 |
In this order.... Faith, Family, Hunting. http://atvutvcustomizer.com/Pacific Eagle UTV enclosures. Kawasaki, Honda , Polaris, Kymco, and many more! Trump, Make America Great Again!
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Re: Heard this one today...
[Re: Guy]
#6929977
10/23/17 03:50 PM
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Joined: Nov 2007
Posts: 13,203
CCBIRDDOGMAN
Bird Herder
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Bird Herder
Joined: Nov 2007
Posts: 13,203 |
This would be me. I panic every time I pick something up for her at the pharmacy when they ask for her birth date.
Haven't had it in years but never spit any out. I am a sucker for happy endings and strapped cowboys.
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